Suffering in Silence
by Burn.The.Evidence
Summary: He had become an expert at hiding his feelings. Its not like he could act on them anyway. But when the subject of Jace's affection has nowhere else to go but the bedroom next door, hiding his feelings becomes increasingly difficult. The biggest problem? She's dating his roommate who also happens to be his bestfriend.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is my first fanfiction and the first time I've written something of this magnitude, I'm more of a poet and essayist, so I'm rather nervous about this but please feel free to give your opinions in a review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the laptop this is typed on.

I shifted the brown paper bag so that it sat on my hip like child would sit on its mothers. Not even five seconds had passed after I knocked before the door opened to revel a tall blonde man with an apple. "Hey, Rocket." I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname but smiled just the same. "Hey, Sunshine." Jace made an exaggerated motion for me to enter the apartment. He took the paper bag from me and put it on the kitchen counter. "I don't know why you bother knocking, you know you can just come in, right?" Jace took a bite of his apple and wiped the drop of juice that had dribbled down his chin. If that had happened to me I would have looked like an idiot that couldn't eat properly but somehow Jace managed to look like a model in one of those fruit juice ads. Its annoying. "Yeah, I know, but I'd feel like I was being an imposition. And I really don't want to walk in on one of the gay orgies you probably host while I'm not around." I know Jace would never participate in a gay orgy but that scene from Wolf of Wall Street scared me. Jace chuckled, "You don't need to worry about those, Rocket, we never host those here. There just isn't enough room." I knew Jace knew that I was talking about the Wolf of Wall Street because, although I watched the majority of it alone Jace just happened to walk in as the gay orgy scene came on. I would sell my soul to the son of Satan just to see the look on his face again. He took another bite of his apple "And you're Seb's girlfriend," he mumbled with a full mouth, "you're supposed to be an imposition. I smiled and sat on the counter. "Nice, Jace, is that what you see girlfriends as? Impositions? Its no wonder why you're single." He hopped up on to the counter next to me. "Rocket, I am single by choice. Why stick with one girl that I know I'm just going to get bored with when I can have a different girl every night? And in my experience girlfriends usually are impositions but if the girl is right for the guy then said guys much better looking best friend will just have to put up with her."Jace's knee bumped mine. The huge size difference between us never ceased to amaze me. He was so much taller than me. My head didn't even reach his shoulder. "Aww who knew you were such a romantic? Wait..." I paused. "Is that your subtle way of telling me that I'm right for Seb or that I'm not?" I smiled up at him and he smirked back. "The jury is still out on that one." He shrugged. "For something so opinionated you'd think the 'jury' would have formulated a verdict by now. But then again its not like its been almost eight months or anything." Jace scoffed. "Maybe the jury has got a verdict but chooses to plead the fifth." Jace crossed his arms over his chest and I had to admit that he had great arms. "Well, Jonathan, technically the jury can't plead the fifth because they're just giving their opinions as to whether the accused is guilty or not. And one can only plead the fifth if giving ones testimony incriminates oneself in another crime. So tell me, Sunshine, has the jury got secret?" I narrowed my eyes and I think his jaw may have clenched slightly. I gasped dramatically. "You're in love with Sebastian, aren't you?" Jace sighed loudly and looked away. "Yes, its true. You, Clarissa Fray, have uncovered my darkest secret I simply cannot let you live now. Its a shame too, you were starting to grow on me." I threw my head back slightly and laughed. "How do you know so much about the law anyway?" He asked me. "Fifteen seasons of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit." I replied.

Making friends was never something I was good at and when Sebastian had first introduced me to Jace

I did not like him at all. He acted cocky and condescending and it seriously got on my nerves. But after about a month we started to warm up to each other and we actually became incredibly good friends It was weird to go from growing up with next to no friends to becoming so comfortable with someone and so close to them that you couldn't imagine not being around them. "Now how about some dinner? I'm starving." He gave me a positively adorable puppy dog pout. These boys would have starved to death if it was not for me cooking them dinner at least twice a week. "I've been here for less than ten minutes," I laughed, "way to make me feel like a servant." I feigned a look of hurt. "Aww, Rocket, you're not a servant. Servants get paid." I lightly punched his arm. "Although, I wouldn't mind having you as my personal maid. Think about it; I could buy you one of those little French maid outfits." Jace wiggled his eyebrows at me, something I had always dreamed of being able to do. The eyebrow raise is the epitome of badassery. You could have a leather jacket and tattoos and smoke a pack a day but you could never be a true badass if you couldn't raise an eyebrow. I was one of the poor unfortunate souls that could never be a true badass. I couldn't raise an eyebrow let alone wiggle them.

"No, no." A voice came from behind us. I turned to see Sebastian standing at the edge of the hallway. His dyed black hair was straight, wet and hanging in his eyes. Very appealing. "She's mine." He smiled at me and I grinned back. "That's right," I turned back to face Jace, "I'm Sebastian's maid." Jace stuck his tongue out at me but it was soon replaced by a smirk. Sebastian walked up to me and kissed me. "Sorry I kept you waiting. I was in the shower, need to smell good for my lady and what not." I smiled. "What a gentleman." "I aim to please." he smirked a delicious smirk. "Well you succeed. You definitely succeed." his smirk broadened and he placed his lips on mine again. We broke apart, "Oh and, Jace, I already have a french maids uniform. Although I don't think I could do much cleaning in it. Its very short. It barely reaches my thighs." I smiled sweetly. Jace blinked twice and swallowed. "And why have I not seen this outfit?" Sebastian glared playfully. I smirked at him, "I've been saving it for a special occasion." He leaned down and pecked my lips. "Well, I do believe that," peck "it is my," peck "birthday soon." His lips lingered on mine. "I know, believe me, I know." I kissed him back. Things soon got s little heated. He was now standing between my legs, they were wrapped around his waste and my lip between his teeth. "All right, children, lets keep this PG." Jace said from the other side of the counter. Sebastian looked up at Jace, "Cockblock." Jace snorted, "Cockblock? What? Were you too just going to do it on the kitchen counter?" Jace looked amused. "Well..." I started. "It wouldn't be the first time." Sebastian finished. The amused expression fell from Jace's face and his eyes widened. "God, you two are like rabbits." he turned and walked up to the couch but before he sat he turned back to face us, "no, you two make rabbits look like Catholic nuns." he turned and plopped down on the couch. Sebastian smiled at me and grabbed a beer for himself and Jace and joined him on the couch. I smiled at my two boys, my boyfriend and my best friend. With my lip between my teeth and a smile threatening to split my face in half I took the salmon out of the bag I had brought and began to prepare dinner.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully I'll be able to update soon but I am going into exams now (brilliant time to start writing this, I know.) I really hope you enjoyed it :D Thanks.

- Burn The Evidence.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't like the way I ended the previous chapter so I decided to update now. Think of this as chapter 1 part 2. This chapter does contain some heavier content. It's nothing too bad just some light curse words and suggestive tones. Please read the A/N at the end :D

disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the laptop I write this on.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voice boomed behind me. My hands shot out of the warm, soapy water. Not only did I get a fright but I spilt water down the front of my shirt. "Jace!" That laughing asshole. "Sorry, I didn't think I'd give you that much of a fright." Liar, he totally did that on purpose. "But I'm serious, what are you doing?" I looked down at the sink full of dishes. "I'm baking you a cake." I said sarcastically. "Oh _excellent_. Promise you'll jump out of it in a bikini?" I flicked water at him in reply. Typical Jace, aways thinking with his little head instead of his big one. "Why are you doing dishes, Clary?" he asked. "There are dishes to be done." Jace gave me a 'are you mentally challenged or just plain stupid?' look. "No. Nope. I don't think so. You cooked so you're not allowed to do the dishes too. I'll do them. You go grab one of mine or Sebastian's shirts and I'll dry yours." Jace may not like to admit it but he can be a gentleman sometimes. "Careful, Jace, your inner gentleman is showing." Jace gasped dramatically. "Shit! get back in the box. Get back in the box." I laughed louder than what would be considered ladylike. "Now go watch a movie with your boyfriend." I smiled a wide smile and thanked him. I changed my shirt for one of Sebastian's, which looked like a bed sheet on me, and joined him on the couch. "Hey, baby." Sebastian stretched his arm out so I could cuddle up against his side. "Can we watch a movie?" I looked up at him. How is he hot from every angle? I'll never understand how I got so lucky. "Sure. What do you want to watch?" It wasn't a difficult question to answer when I knew they had my favourite movie recorded. "Corpse Bride." I said excitedly. "No," he moaned, "I can't stand that crap." And his hotness level went down two points. "Please?" I begged. But he stood his ground, "No." Okay, time to pull out the big guns. I maneuvered myself so that I was straddling him. "Please?" I begged again but he simply crossed his arms over his chest. "No." I ran my hand through his hair, knowing full well how much that effects him. "Are you sure?" I bit my lip. "Y-yes." I was delighted to hear his voice falter. I brought my lips closer to his, "Positive?" I kissed the corner of his mouth slowly, teasingly. "Less so by the second." Came his shakey reply. He uncrossed his arms and steadied himself by gripping the couch cushion he was sitting on. Oh how I loved to teasing him. "Because," I lightly grazed my nails from his ear to the base of his throat, "I'd really _hate_," I slowly rolled my hips against his, "to make you do _anything_ you don't want to do." I whispered that last part seductively in his ear and finally he gave in, "Okay, we can watch it." His voice was low and hoarse. "Yay." I grinned and climbed off of him. "Ah! You tease." He pouted. "I'll make it up to you." I started the movie. God I love Tim Burton. "You better. But I can't watch the whole thing. I have three lectures tomorrow and the first one is at eight." I pouted, I knew Sebastian's dream was to be a surgeon and I was happy that he was persuing his dream but it really did take up a lot of his time and he always came home exhausted. It's one of the reasons I come over to cook so often. I just wanted to lighten his load a little and make sure that he didn't have to worry about his studies _and_ feeding himself becuase knowing him he would probably start studying and forget to eat for a couple days. It wouldn't be the first time.

We didn't even get halfway through the movie before Sebastian kissed me quickly and went to bed. I decided to stay and finish the movie. You can't leave Corpse Bride unfinished. "Where hath thou boy toy gone?" Jace said while drying his hands on a dish cloth. "The good sir hath retired for the evening seeing as he must rise early to attend his schooling." I put on my best British accent. "What? You say he left you, a poor defenseless maiden, all on your own? And you call him a good sir?" He scoffed and sat on the arm rest next to me. his accent was so much better than mine. It made me want to punch him. "Doesn't he know there are vultures around at this hour? You never know, one might just swoop down and carry you away." He scooped me up into his lap and started tickling me. The bastard. "Oh my god, Jace, no no no no no. Please stop." I gasped. "Have mercy." he didn't stop, he just tickled even harder. "Does the fair maiden surrender?" His eyes sparked with mischief. "Yes! I surrender! Oh My god, Jace, stop." I giggled, and thankfully he did. He put me back down where I was sitting before he decided to attack me and wiggled his way inbeween me and the arm rest. "So what are we watching? Corpse Bride? Tim Burton's best in my opinion." Jace wrapped his arm around me and I snuggled up to his side, pulling a blanket over the both of us. My hand rested rested on Jace's chest and I could feel his heart beat irratically, "Jace, are you okay? your heart rate is a little high." He chuckled, "I'm fine, just a little worked up from tickling you." He smiled down at me, "Are you sure?" I double checked. "Clary, is our little resident surgeon rubbing off on you?" He asked. "Yep, in more ways than one." Jace gaged, "Oh God stop, I do not want that mental image. Eugh." He shivered. "Okay well then shut up. I'm trying to watch a movie." I snuggled up against him again. "I do apologise, fair maiden, it won't happen again." I smiled to myself. Ever since I lost my bestfriend, Simon, two years ago I always felt like there was a piece of my existance that was missing, like a chip of bone that that broke away from my ribs and got lost. It was painful and absent. It still feels like that sometimes but i've found that whenever i'm with one of these boys it hurts a little less, it becomes more bareable. Jace slowly, absentmindedly ran his fingers up and down my arm as we sat and watched the movie and soon I could feel my eyelids sink lower and lower until the dark animation was replaced by the dark backs of my eyelids.

"Clary. Clary, come on the movie's over. We better get you to bed." Jace whispered. I shook my head, "No, you and Seb have to be up early for class and I have work in the morning and class straight afterwards and all my books are at home." My voice was groggy and trying to open my eyes felt like the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. "Well I'm not letting you drive home while half asleep. You could crash and die and funerals are boring and expensive." How does he have friends? Seriously? "Your overwhelming amount of concern is truly moving." I stood up and, along with a yawn, I stretched my arms above my head. "I try. Now come on, I'll give you a lift home." He grabbed his keys and we made our way to his car.

Jace's point of view:

It hadn't even been two minutes since we had started driving and Clary was already asleep again. Today there was a crack in my well constructed mask. I could easily control my facial expressions. I mastered the art of that back when I was a kind and I coud easily deflect or distract anyone who started to piece anything together with a witty or sarcastic comment but hiding the physical tells was a lot harder. How was i supossed to slow my heartbeat or keep my hands from getting clammy? And how the hell was I supposed to keep everything down and in place when the mental image of a little uniform bending over played behind my eyelids. I shifted in my seat. God, I need to get laid. I pulled up in front of Clary"s apartment building. She was passed out in the seat next to me. She's pretty incredable, working a job and trying to survive a double major all the while looking after Sebastian and me. Not that we really needed looking after. She just cares so much, so she makes sure we're eating and staying healthy and she's always first in to drive down from her aprtment to help you fix the washing machine when in reality you just don't know how to start the thing or run to the store to get another copy of your bestfriend's favourtite movie, Inception, after you accidentally step on it and break it. She's also the one that will sit next to you on the floor next to the toilet and sweap your hair out of your face, rub your back and get you a painkiller and a glass of water after a long night of drinking followed by a morning blurred with a hangover. And she does this all without complaint. She's just a really good friend. Just a friend. I opened her door and carefully lifted her out. I held her close to me while we went up to the fourth floor in the elevator. I gently dug the keys to her front door out of her jacket pocket and entered. I loved her apartment. It matched her completely. It was small like her, the walls were a dark orange red like her hair and there were paint splatters on just about every surface, they reminded me of the little freckles on her nose and cheeks. There were canvasses, paint tubes, photographs, that she took, and drawing pencils everywhere. It was very Clary. I remember once I had found a drawing of me in one of her sketch books while I was helping her look for her portfolio and for a second there was a blossom of hope and excitement that soon died when I found an entire book full of skeches of Sebastian. I walked into her room and carefully placed her into bed, removed her sneekers, covered her with her duvet and set an alarm on her phone so that she wouldn't be late for work. She curled up into a ball and showed no sign of waking anytime soon. I brushed her hair out of her face, "Goodnight, my fair maiden." Out of nowhere it hit me like a bullet to the chest, that feeling again, like a panic attack in a room with no air. I had to get out of there. I couldn't breathe. I just about sprinted out of the apartment, almost forgeting to lock the door and slide the key under it. The elevator took too long to arrive so I ran down the stairs instead. I made it back to my car and the first thing I did was hit the steering wheel repeatedly. But that did nothing but hurt my hand. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I rested my head against the steering wheel. "Just friends." I whispered to myself with a shaky voice. I sighed. Why did I decide to be lazy that day eight months ago? It could have been me. I decided then and there that I, Jonathan Christopher Herondale, needed a drink.

The bar was dark and smelled of smoke, sweat and braincells dying. My kind of place. I ordered whiskey and downed it the second it was placed in front of me and then I ordered another one. This was repeated about four or five times. A girl sat next to me, she was pretty but not the right pretty and her hair was the wrong colour, "Hi." Her voice was wrong too. "Hi," I gave her a tight lipped smile. "You look pretty lonely sitting here all by yourself, why dont you finish that drink and join me for a dance?" I looked her up and down. She was pretty hot and it had been a while. "Sure." I downed my drink and followed her to the dance floor. We danced for a few songs, and by danced I mean I stood there with my hands on her hips and swayed while she used me as a strpper pole. "So do you wanna head back to your place?" She whispered in my ear. I must admit it turned me on. I switched my game on. I pressed myself against her, swept her hair to the side and said; "Why don't we head to yours instead I'll make you scream so loud that your neighbours phone the police." She moaned, grabbed my hand and led me out of the bar.

Okay so thats chapter two. I hope you enjoyed reading it because I enjoyed writting it. Now for a few story related items:

1. First I'd like to apologise for the late update, I had a HUGE history exam to study for and there was so much to study. I could basically publish my notes as a full length novel. During the exam people actually started crying and just got up and left. Great job Education Department.

2. So I'm from South africa and we spell things a little differently, we use the british spelling system, so in other words we overdose on the letter u and usually use s instead of z (this is mostly for the american readers)

3. Every now and then I'll make a song suggestion for some scenes. It probably won"t happen often though.

4. This one isn't story related but :D so i'm short, like 5'3, i have curly redish ginger hair, freckles on my nose and cheeks, I'm an art student, my ex boyfriend was much taller than me and blonde and my dad is a total asshole that my mom left and moved to the other side of the country to get away from. Sound like any fictional charcter we know?

5. The rating of this story might go up to M later on.

5. Please review this. I would love to get this story up to 100 reviews and I like getting emails telling me that people have reviewed or follwed _Suffering In SIlence_ because it makes me feel important and cool.

Enjoy the rest of your whatever it is in the time zone you're in :D

And last but not least; always remember to _**Burn The Evidence**_.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so sorry about the extremely late update but I have a reason. Here go the excuses... **

**In the last month; I had exams, my dad broke my laptop which meant that I had to type out this chapter on my phone. Which is not easy especially with a touchscreen. I went to a Foo Fighters concert (my ex was there so it was kinda awkward, but the show kicked ass.) I dropped my phone and cracked the screen, my dad left, leaving me and my brother on our own to find somewhere to live, I went on holiday to Durban where I broke my toe and got stung by five bluebottles, I have a huge art project and massive history project due the first week of school and I'm stressing over starting my final year of high school with neither of my parents in the picture. Don't you just love the holiday season?**

**Anyway, I noticed a few errors in the previous chapters but no matter how hard I try FanFiction won't let me fix them. This chapter has not been edited so I apologise for any errors.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't even have the laptop I write this on. **

**...**

Chapter 3

I was dying. It was hotter than Jamie Dornan and I had to walk to work in a blazer. Autumn was ending but I don't think that Mother Nature got the memo seeing as she decided to unleash the sun's fury on us. Heat waves rose up from the cement and made my feet sweat and my legs uncomfortable. _The Pictorial _was a large beautiful crimson building that stood out amongst it's plain face-bricked neighbours. I had been working there for four years and I genuinely loved it. Well, most of the time. Every now and again we'd get a snobby art wannabe that acted like they knew more about art that you did. I was lucky to even have a job here. One of my lecturers had actually gotten me this job. He knew the manager had been looking for someone to work the floor at the gallery and he recommended me. And once I'd finished school at the end of the year this position could become fulltime and maybe someday I'd have some of my own work displayed on these walls. My boss, Maia, walked in wearing the same black tailored suit that I was wearing. And boy did she know how to pull it off. But then again she was tall and slim with curves, so she had the body for it whereas I was awkward and cute with my frizzy curls and freckles, she was lean and beautiful. Her skin was the colour of freshly stained wood and her hair was lush looking dark curls. She walked with a confidence that made her appear to be superior, like she knew something you didn't.

"Clary, there aren't any appointments today so, unless there are a lot of walk-in's, it looks like we won't be that busy today so I'm going to be in my office for the majority of the day. If I am needed please just shout." Without waiting for a reply, she turned and ascended the stairs to her office. So in other words I get to sit here for four hours and take advantage of the in store employee wifi? I don't mind. I sat behind the front desk, turned on my laptop and logged into my _Tumblr _account_. _After scrolling through my dashboard for an hour I got bored and logged off. I then did what ever person with a computer has done at some point. I drew those little squares on my desktop. My mind wondered to the evening before. The last thing I remember was Jace offering me a lift home. I must have fallen asleep on the way and he must have carried my up to bed. It was very sweet of him. He even plugged my phone in to charge and set an alarm for me.

I had watched Jace break heart after heart and show no regard for others feelings and yet he always showed me respect and treated my like I was his family. Like that annoying little sister you can't help but love.

I was practically comatose by the time I left. We only had two walk-in's and neither of them bought anything. Talk about smiling and being polite for no reason.

I got changed into my normal clothes in the gallery's bathroom and dreaded the walk to class. I exited the building and was greeted by the best view I'd seen all week, Sebastian leaning against his car door. A slow smile spread across his face when he saw me and I replied with a grin of my own. "What are you doing here?" I walked up to him and gave him a slow, loving kiss. "I saw your car outside this morning and guessed that Jace gave you a lift home last night. I also guessed that you had to walk to work and therefore walk to class. And what kind if half-arsed boyfriend would I be if I didn't come and save you from a two mile walk when I had finished my lectures _and_ had the time to come and give you a lift?" He smirked at me, "Oh and did I mention," he reached into the open car window and pulled out a white take away bag, "I bought you lunch too." Oh my god he's perfect. I took his face between my hands and kissed him. "Have I ever told you how much I frikken love you." He chuckled. "A few time. You've even moaned it once or twice, if I remember correctly." I felt a blush burn its way up my chest. "Shut up." He looked me up and down. "Where is that uniform I love so much?" Sebastian always got a little excited when I wore that uniform. I never understood why, I always felt like a little girl playing dress up when I wore it. "I got changed in the bathroom. I'm not going to go to class in my uniform." I chuckled. I climbed into the passanger seat of the car and Seb got into the drivers. The bag of takeaway food smelled fantastic. I opened it to find three steaming pancakes covered in cinnamon and sugar, which just so happen to be my favourite breakfast food. "Oh my god, Seb, please marry me." Seb smiled but kept his eyes focused on the road. I grabbed the plastic fork at the bottom of the paper bag and placed the styrofoam container on my lap. I'm not going to lie, I practically inhaled those pancakes. Who needs class anyway? I wiped my mouth with the napkin and turned towards Seb slightly. "So how was class?" I always loved hearing him talk about his lectures. He always gets so excited when he talks about them because he saw it as one lecture closer to becoming an actual surgeon. He went on about the pancreas and pancreatitis. It didn't interest me in the slightest but it interested him so I paid attention. He did buy me pancakes after all. "But I swear professor Macintosh was on his period or something. He shouted at a girl for dropping her pen because 'its disrupted his train of thought.'"

"Wow, maybe he just hasn't gotten any in a while." Sebastian smiled his perfectlay straight smile, "If sex makes you nicer then I must be a bloody angel." My blush was almost instantaneous. "God you blush so easily." He smiled and shook his head. "I swear if I stared at you for more than five seconds you'd probably start blushing." And of course he's Sebastian so he just had to start staring. And of course I started blushing. "Okay you can stop now." He didn't. "Seriously, you've proven your point so you can stop now." I hid behind my hair. I could still feel his stare on me. I looked at him and he was no longer just staring but now he was giving me his 'I'm undressing you with my eyes' look. That look could probably get you pregnant it if remained on you long enough. It was that sexy. I covered my face with my hands, "Stop." I dragged the word out. I peaked through my fingers, "Sebastian, you should be watching the road. You're going to kill us." He smirked and pulled over to the side of the road. He turned and removed my hands from my face. He gave me that look again and turned my hands over so that they were palm up. Without breaking eye contact he leaned down and kissed my wrists then my shoulder. I let out a slow breath and swollowed. He made his way from my shoulder to my exposed neck. An enjoyable shiver ran down the length of my body. Once he found my sweet spot he stopped kissing and began nipping and sucking. I moaned his name in a whisper. He stopped with my neck and raised his head so that we were face to face. His lips were so close I could almost feel them on mine. My breathing was low and the shivers made the hair one the back of my neck stand on end. But then out of nowhere he grinned and turned back to the steering wheel. I blinked and the fog in my brain begam to clear. "Uhm." Was all I could get out. I guess that fog wasn't completely gone. Seb shrugged, "That was payback for you teasing me last night." So that was all planned? Oh what an asshole. Now I'm going to look all flustered when I walk into class. And he thinks I'll let him get away with that? Nice try, buddy. "Oh? okay, well I was just going to sleep with you tonight to make it up to you but," I shrugged. "I guess now that you've gotten me back I won't have to." The stupid smile fell off his stupid face. "And it is a shame because I had heard of all these new tricks and positions that I wanted to try out. But I guess I'll just get a good night sleep instead." I smiled at him sweetly. He cleared his throat, "New tricks?" He asked. It sounded like he was really uncomfortable. The shifting in your seat kind of uncomfortable. "Yep, the kind that require some stretching. You better start driving or I'll be late." He swore under his breath and started the engine. I smiled to myself, Clary: 2, Sebastian: 1.

Professor Blackstroff spent two hours talking about van Gogh. She talked about his life, his art and his depression. The most interesting part of the entire lecture was when she delved into the last year of his life, which was the most inspired time of his life. I had spent most of the lesson praying that Sebastian would fetch me after class. I willed him to be there because I had forgotten to ask him earlier. The lesson ended and I made my way out of the large building that housed the art department. And sure enough Sebastian's car was there waiting for me.

We decided to go back to Seb's because 'he likes having me there' but I've known him long enough to know that that actually means 'I'm lazy and I want you to cook dinner.' "So what are you making tonight?" Sebastian asked from the kitchen. I looked up from my comic, "Something vegetarian." Sebastian pulled a disgusted face. He loaths the very thought of meatless food. "Sweets, I am a man. Men need meat to function." He puffed out his chest and flexed his muscles. He kinda looked like one of those assholes that think they're the shit because they have good bodies. The thought made me chuckle. "What's so funny?" He came and joined me on the couch. "Nothing, but I'll make you a deal, you help cook and I'll add meat to the veggie meal." Sebastian had never actually made me a proper meal so I didn't really know if he could cook. "I've never tasted your cooking so this is like a test, a test to see whether or not I should keep you. Who wants a guy that can't cook?" I smiled. Of course I was kidding. I adored this man and I would never leave him for something so petty. He smirked at me, "Okay, but only if you wear an apron," This confused me, why would he care if I wore an apron? "Only an apron." He finished with a wiggle of his eyebrows. I swear his mind was always on sex. It's exhausting sometimes. "That might be a bit awkward with Jace running around." Speak of the Devil and he shall appear because as I said that, Jace walked in. "I think," Sebastian got up from the couch and poked Jace in the chest, "that Jacey Wacey here got lucky last night." Jace smiled as Seb sat on the kitchen counter. "What makes you think that?" I asked. Seb turned towards me, "Well his bed was empty last night so I'm assuming someone else's was extra full." I don't understand how some people, male and female, could have meaningless sex. Now don't get me wrong I don't disapprove or anything, its their bodies and they can do as they please with them. I'm not slut shaming or anything but why would you want meaningless sex when you could have someone to go to bed with every night, wake up to every morning and actually remember your name? Someone that will hold you and love you and still get great sex out of it. "Oh really? Tell me, Jace, what was her name?" My question made Sebastian snicker, we both knew that he didn't know her name. Jace cleared his throat nervously, "Uh, Jess-Sar-Erica." Was his response. "Jessarerica? Hmm, it sounds exotic." I couldn't stop myself from teasing him, its in our nature. We're like siblings that bicker and tease each other for fun. "It is exotic. I think it is Romanian." Came Jace's reply.

"So was Jessarerica any good?" Sebastian asked. Why would he want to know that? Seriously, why? Gross. "Dude, you have no idea. She could do this thing with her legs that just-" Oh my god why am I hearing this? "No, stop. I don't want to hear this. You two are way too close."

Sebastian jumped of the counter and wrapped his arms around Jace waist, Jace then threw an arm over Seb's shoulder. "Clary, we are closer than you think." I think I might have died a little on the inside. "Oh, god!" I covered my eyes and slid off the couch and on to the floor. Why did I have such an overactive imagination? I'll never be able to unpicture the images in my head now. "I hate you guys so much." They were both in fits of laughter by the time I uncovered my eyes. I hate them.

"Where did you learn to cook so well?" Jace asked just before shovelling a fork full of the dinner I had made into his mouth. "I taught myself." Jace raised an eyebrow at me. "Liar, there's no way you taught yourself to cook this well." Jace still had food in his mouth, making my view less than desirable. The three of us were sitting around the kitchen counter enjoying a meal. I loved this. Just us hanging out doing nothing special or exciting. It felt like a mini family dinner. "No, I'm serious. As a kid, if I didn't cook for myself then I didn't eat. I picked up a thing or two." Jace looked up from his plate, "Well that's depressing." I picked up my plate and placed it in the sink. "You asked."

I sat in the plush one sweater couch doodling while Sebastian went over his study notes and Jace read 'A Tail of Two Cities' again. That was one if the similarities between Jace and I. If we loved a book we could read it over and over again without ever getting bored of it. Sebastian was more of a 'I've read it and I know what's going to happen so what's the point of reading it again?' kinda guy.

I was doodling a bouquet of my favourite flower, the amaryllis, I was actually rather happy with how it was turning out. The flowers were rough and sketchy but they were three dimensional and they actually looked like flowers. I tend to cringe at most of my drawings. People often complement my work and say that they wish they could draw, which is usually followed by, 'I can't even draw a stickman.' Well that's exactly it, they're not artists. They don't pick up imperfections as easily and they don't spend hours picking every detail of the piece apart and analysing it. Once the sketch was done I packed away my sketchpad and pencils and sat back in my chair with nothing to do. I looked around the apartment, the high ceilings and white walls made it feel very modern but the overstuffed, dark grey, couches added a homely feel. The dark wooden floor complemented the dark wooden coffee table in the middle of the lounge. Under the coffee table was a fluffy white rug which contrasted the black curtains. Everything was so neat it was almost clinical. It was definitely Jace's doing. He was a complete neat freak. He claims that it was the three years he'd spent in military school that made him this way, but the sad glint in his eye told me that there was something deeper to it. I looked over at Jace, he was sitting in the chair directly in front of me, on the other side of the coffee table. His focus was taken up completely by his book so he probably wouldn't notice me studying him. He had an unusual face. Not in a 'oh my god what is this creature?' kind of way. He had unique features that all came together to form a very attractive face. He was very good looking and, believe me, he knew it. His jaw was strong and well sculpted. His cheekbones were high, sharp and his cheeks were hollow and smooth. But his eyes were his best feature. They were sharp and mischievous. But the colour was, by far, the best feature. They were whirlpools of honey tones mixed with amber and a light golden rust colour. His shaggy, dark blonde hair fell in long curls that covered the tops of his ears and brushed his temples.

I took a deep breath. The boredom was starting to set into my bones and moving seemed impossible. "Aren't you guys bored?" I asked them. Jace looked up from his book and gave me a firm, "No." While behind me Sebastian stated that 'his brain was numb.'

"There's nothing to do here." I yawned. "Did you just insult our bachelor's pad?" This came from Sebastian. "Bachelor? Is that what you are?" I asked.

"Ah, I mean are you insulting our half bachelor, half I'm completely dedicated to my amazingly perfect girlfriend, pad?" Sebastian gave me a nervous smile.

"Smooth." Jace muttered. "Yes, I'm insulting your half bachelor, half I'm a total douche, pad." I smiled back at him. It wasn't a sweet smile. It was more of a 'I'm gonna punch you' smile.

"Can't we go out or do something? Please?" Jace looked at me and smirked. "I can think of something we can do." He finishes off with a wiggle of his eyebrows. I knew he only said stuff like that go get a rise out of Sebastian. They loved to piss each other off. I scoffed and pulled a disgusted face. "Save it for your hand, Jace." The smirk fell off his face and he glared at me playfully. "Or Jessarerica." Sebastian said, not looking up from his study notes. This earned a chuckle from me and another glare from Jace. "Why don't we go down to Idris lake and get drunk?" I suggested. "We can invite Alec and Magnus, and Izzy and Jordan. We can make a couples evening out of it. Jace can bring his pillow." I smiled sweetly at Jace. "That sound good to you, Sunshine?" Jace mocked a face of hurt. "I'll have you know, Rocket, that I have a throng of girls that I could call and every one of them would feel lucky to accompany me." Jace's inner, and often seen, narcissistic side came out to play. "Oh yeah? Tell me, Sunshine, how many of those girls would slap you on sight?" Jace looked thoughtful for a moment then he cleared his throat quietly. "Shut up. Anyway, I'm good with going to the lake if you are, Seb." Sebastian was in the process of packing his notes away. "Its good with me." He smiled.

Twenty minutes later we were heading down to the car. We had packed a few classes of beer, a bottle of vodka and two bottles of tequilla. Everyone else was going to meet us there. "I call shotgun." Jace called. "What? No, Clary's sitting next to me." Sebastian insisted. "Why can't I?" Jace looked upset that his best friend just denied him shotgun.

"Because I like to drive with my hand on Clary's thigh. I can't drive with my hand on your thigh. Well, I mean, technically I can but that would be awkward."

"That sounds like a you problem." They can be so childish sometimes. I smiled at their banter.

Before Sebastian could reply I cut in. " Oh just let him. He did call shotgun first and if we don't honour the shotgun rule then next thing you know guy code is out the window, chaos will ensue and within a year we'll have a sequel to 'Lord of the Flies,' and besides, I wouldn't want to take away from Jace's manliness by making him sit in the back." We all finally climbed into the car. "I like this one, Seb, maybe we should keep her." Sebastian pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the lake. "You make me sound like a kitten in a pet shop, or your next victim in your long line of serial killings that, over time, you grew attached to and decided to keep in a cage instead." Jace turned to look at me, "How the hell did you go from kitten to serial killer's victim so quickly?"

"My brain works in some fucked up ways." I replied lightly. "I'd love to spend an hour inside your head." He shook his head and faced the road again. "No you wouldn't. It's a soul destroying purgatory of black ash and macabre metaphors that will simmer your flesh and leave you as nothing more than a pile of brittle bones." I smiled a creepy smile and tilted my head to the side. Jace had turned back to face me, his eyes wide with horror. Sebastian even glanced back at me wwith a 'what the fuck' look. "There are rainbows too." I smiled sweetly.

"Sebastian," Jace started with a whisper, not breaking eye contact with me, "if you take a left here we'll up at The Institution for Mental Health Care, where I'm sure we can get her the help she needs." Sebastian chuckled. "Hey!" I leaned forward and punched Jace on the arm. "Ow! Jesus, you're stronger than you look, Rocket. Maybe I'll call you Rocket Power from now on." Jace rubbed the spot where I had punched him. I'm pretty sure I gave him a numb arm. "Oh my god, I loved that show!" I laughed.

Idris lake looked beautiful. It stretched out into fields of grass that appeared dark silver under the moonlight. The moon's reflection was blurred on the surface of the water. It resembled the art of an impressionist. The few trees that dotted the field swayed slightly in the soft breeze. Stars were reflected in the water which made the lake appear to look like a second sky. The air was clean and free of the city's pollution. Every one arrived a few minutes after we did. Magnus set up a circle of small rocks and filled it with sticks. Not soon after there was a small fire ablaze. He was practically a wizard with that kind of stuff. Especially when compared to us city folk.

Two hours later we had roasted all the marshmallows, Izzy had music playing on her docking station and we were all either drunk or tipsy. Sebastian and I were sitting by the fire, he had his arm around me and my head was tucked into his chest. Jace had wondered off with a bottle of tequlla, Alec and Magnus were sitting by a tree making out, while Izzy and Jordan sat on the other side of the fire giggling to themselves. "Babe," I tilted my head up to look Sebastian in the eye. He continued, "I'm driving home so I better sober up. Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.

"Sure." We stood up and started a slow walk around the lake. Sebastian took my hand and pulled me in front of him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the crown of my head. We walked slowly, his arms around me and my back to him. The air was sweet and tinged with Sebastian's cologne. "This was a good idea. I enjoyed it." Sebastian said in a low voice. I turned to face him. "You only enjoyed it? Well that won't do, you need to have loved it." I smiled at him and stood on the tips of my toes. I slowly placed a kiss on his lips. Sebastian smiled and deepened the kiss. His one hand sank to the small of my back and the other one grazed up to settled between my shoulder blades. He stepped closer to that our bodies were completely pressed together. My hands glidded up from his shoulders and entangled themselves in his hair. He moaned and slid his tongue across my lower lip. I granted him entrance and the battle for dominance began. I pulled his hair hair and our lips separated with his groan. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He held me up by my aas and my arms were locked around his neck. I moaned as he kissed my lips again. My skin burned with need and want. I lowered my head and took his lower lip between my teeth and tugged and sucked. My breathing became shallow and I moaned into his kisses. His chest rose and fell with heavy pants and moans.

"Guys!" Came a distant, slurred voice. "Just ignore him." Sebastian said in an irritated voice. "Guys." We turned our heads towards the voice. Jace was stumbling towards us, I think he was trying to run, with an empty bottle in his hand. I sighed and Sebastian placed me back on the ground. I was really enjoying that. "Guys, guys we have to leave." Jace slurred and struggled to keep eye contact. "Why?" Sebastian asked. He took the empty bottle from Jace's hand. "Because I saw a duck!" He emphasised the word _duck_ like it meant something to us. "So? Dude, how much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough to forget how bloodthirsty ducks are. Now come on, _let's go!" _Jace grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the car. When he saw that we were following he released my hand and marched ahead. Jace and Sebastian went to the car and I went to tell the others that we were leaving. By the time I returned back to the car, Jace was already passed out in the back seat. "He didn't last very long." I chuckled. "Eh, he never does." it was obvious that he was reffering to something other than drinking. "Yeah, you'd know seeing as you guys are so _close _and all." The drive back to the apartment was silent and Sebastian had his hand on my thigh the entire time.

We struggled to get Jace up to the apartment. He kept insisting that we stop because he needed to tie his shoelaces. His shoelace were never untied. It took around twenty minutes to get him into bed and another five to get him to stop trying to pull me in with him.

Once he was finally asleep I went through to the lounge and joined Sebastian on the couch. The lazy bugger didn't bother to help me with his bestfriend. Sebastian pulled me into his lap and I guess the sexual tension from earlier had not completely dissolved because, not a minute later, our lips were locked again. I moaned and pulled away from him. His dark eyes were alight with lust and want. I climbed off his lap, took his hand and led him to his bedroom. I guess I was gonna try out those new moves after all.

**...**

**That's it for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll try to update soon but no promises. **

**Please, please, please review. It will make this last month feel less shitty. **

**Tell me what you think of Clary and Sebastian's relationship. **

**Tell me what you think of Jace and Clary's banter.**

**Tell me if you liked the way I wrote this last chapter. **

**Tell me if you didn't. **

**Tell me what you wanna see in the next chapter. **

**Talk to me guys. **

**Thanks for your patience and HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**And always remember, if you ever commit a crime the best way to get away with it is if you - BURN THE EVIDENCE. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guys :D I know that I updated yesterday but you guys were so patient with my absence and I got more reviews for the last chapter than both of the first two so I decided to spend my day writing this so that I could update it ASAP for you lovely people.**

**A few notes:**

**- A few people complained about the lack of paragraphs so I added more in this chapter**

- **A lot of people complained about the lack of Clace and excess of Clabastian but I've done it this way on purpose. In this story, Clary and Sebastian are in a relationship so obviously there is going to be Clabastian. I need it for the rest of the story to be believable and emotional. But don't worry, I fully intend on making this a heavy Clace story later on. It's coming, I promise.**

**- This chapter is dedicated to **_**IsLandgirl4evR**_** because she left a lovely review for the last chapter. Thanks, **_**IsLandgirl4evR**_**.**

**- There are two song recommendations for this chapter and they are "All My Life" - Foo Fighers and "Disarm" - The Civil Wars. I will let you know when to play them if you decide to do so.**

**- And finally, a lot of you wanted some Clace so I gave you some Clace.**

**I found this chapter really difficult to write but I hope you enjoy xxx**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or songs mentioned.**

...

JPOV

-The Next Afternoon-

My breath caught in my throat. I had entered Sebastian's room to ask him if he wanted anything for lunch and there I found them. Clary, in a matching dark purple underwear set, curled up against Sebastian's side. They were fast asleep. Clary's hair was thrown across the pillow in a blaze of red silk. Her pale skin looked extremely stark against the black bed spread. A little slice of sunlight cut through the curtains and eluminated her skin. Her perfect skin. It looked liked perfectly polished white marble.

**(All My Life - Foo Fighters)**

A surge of jealousy electrified my nerve endings and set my skin alight. I wanted nothing more than to rip her from my bestfriend's side and mould her to mine. I quietly closed the door, when all I wanted to do was slam it shut.

I locked myself in my room. My hands clenched and unclenched as I paced back and forth. It wasn't difficult to guess what had transpired between them the night before. I had heard them together once or twice but it was easy to pretend that it was my imagination being an asshole. Seeing them wrapped up together, on the other hand, wasn't as easy to think away.

My chest felt like it was too small to house my lungs and the lump in my throat was suffocating me. _I need to take a deep breath,_ I reminded myself. My chest shook as I tried to breathe in, was I having a _panic attack?_ I'd never had a panic attack before. I tugged my hair, which was soon followed by a noise that sounded like a, "Raahh!" That should be _me_ next to her. It should be _me_ holding her against _my _body. It should be _me_ giving her pleasure. It should be _me _that makes her happy. It should be _me_ that makes her laugh so hard tears fall from her eyes. It should be _me_ that she trusts enough to confided in. _I_ should be the one to hear her fears and dreams. It should be _me_ that she trusts with her body and heart. SHE SHOULD BE ME!

Pain quaked up from my hand. Without realising it, I had spun around and punched the wall. Why was I so jealous? I stared down at my throbbing hand, my knuckles were turning red and my fingers shook slightly. I sighed, why was I so jealous? It wasn't like she was mine, she wasn't mine to be possessive over. She was his.

I leaned againt the door and slid to the floor. Maybe it's better this way. I had ever been in a relationship. What makes me think that I could stay in one with her? I wouldn't be able to survive if I lost her after having her to myself. And being in a relationship with Clary would make it easier for me to hurt her. No matter how hard I try I always end up hurting or disappointing someone I love. I couldn't do that. I couldn't hurt her. It would destroy me to know that I had caused her pain. I couldn't be the one to bring my Rocket down.

I had been a neat freak for as long as I could remember and as I sat on the floor, feeling sorry for myself, everything in my room felt dirty. Everything felt cluttered and claustrophobic. I jumped to my feet and left my room to get cleaning supplies.

Half an hour later I had scrubbed and dusted every surface in my room. I even went as far as scrubbing the floor under my bed. The two _lovers _still weren't awake yet. They must have been up all night. The thought made me sick to my stomach. The whole apartment felt disgusting. I had to get out of there. I needed some air.

It was colder than yesterday so I grabbed my tailored, knee length, black coat and left. I didn't know where I was going but I just kept walking. Every street I walked down reminded me of her. The leaves of every tree had turned from lush green, like her eyes, to golden reds and oranges, just like her hair. I was acting so pathetic. I needed to get over this crush.

I felt bad about last night, I saw Sebastian and Clary kissing next to the lake and in my drunken state I didn't think to turn away and ignore it like I usually did. Instead I came up with an excuse to leave because I wanted him to stop touching her the way I constantly imagined myself doing.

I stood outside _Java Jones_, it was a curved two story building with a light orange beige coloured paint job. I didn't intend on coming here but my body moved in the direction of the little coffee shop on it's own accord. As I entered the coffee shop, the warm smell of fresh coffee and muffins embraced me and pulled me in. The light blue floor tile and light lemon coloured walls mixed in with the miss matched furniture gave the place an abstract and cheerful atmosphere.

This was the setting to the first meeting that never took place. This was where I was supposed to meet her. I could picture it. I could picture her leaning against the counter waiting for her order. I could picture me checking out her ass. I would then walk up to the counter and stand beside her. I could imagine myself waiting for the reaction that I usually got from most girls when they saw me, but knowing Clary and based off the reaction I got from her when we did actually meet, I would get a sideways glance and nothing more. I could imagine turning to face her and giving her my panty-wetting smile. I could imagine striking up a conversation with her. I could imagine her smiling up at me while I smirked down at her. I could imagine it all. I was supposed to be the one to get the coffee that day but Sebastian went instead. He went and he got my girl.

I ordered my coffee and stood back while I waited for it to be prepared. I left the apartment to get away from my feelings and of course I end up here. My coffee arrived and I noticed there was a little heart next to my name on the side of my cup. I rolled my eyes and left. I wondered around for a while and sipped my coffee slowly. It was getting colder and the wind whipped at me as I walked.

I looked up from the pavement and what lay in front of me was one of my favourite memories with Clary;

_Clary and I had a day off from classes and we decided to hangout, seeing as neither of us had anything to do. We had been out exploring the city when we stumbled upon a park. In the middle of the park was an old playground. There were no kids around because it was the midmorning and they were all still in school. We crossed to park to the playground. _

_There was this old wooden jungle gym that was roughly eight feet high and consisted of a number of balancing beams that led to a platform. "I bet you couldn't make it all the way to the top without falling." I challenged her. And Clary, being as competitive as she is, just had to take me up on the challenge. "Watch me, Sunshine." She actually made it to the top with no trouble at all. She didn't lose her balance once. Was she part cat or something? I followed up behind her and we both stood looking out at the large park behind us. It really was quite a sight; the grass was a brilliant green with freckles of flowers every so often. _

_**(Disarm - The Civil Wars)**_

_We leaned against the railing and took in the view. The sun was still rising up from behind the city. The skyscrapers were dark sillhouettes against the blue sky and green field. "It's so pretty." Clary smiled, her attention was completely absorded by the view. I turned to look at her, she had a small smile brightening up her face. Her skin absorbed the sun and let out a glow in return. Her hair was lighter and a few curls fell from the hair band holding it back. They added a softer more innocent look to her face. Her freckles mirrored the flowers dusting the field. _

_She didnt bother wearing makeup. She never did when we hung out. She never tried to impress me, she didn't need to. She did it naturally."Beautiful." I whispered. I wasn't sure if she had heard me but I turned to look at the view just in__ c__ase. I didn't need her turning and catching me staring. Clary sat down and dangled her legs from the edge of the platform. _

_"I love this. It so peaceful and quiet. Sometimes the city can be so suffocating." Clary said, I don't think it was aimed at me, I think she was just thinking out loud. I looked out at the city in front of us, "Clary, do you think you'd ever start a family and move out to the suburbs?" I had no idea where the question had come from but I felt like it was something I needed to know. "I don't know. I mean I definitaly want a family I just don't know about the suburbs. I think I'd get bored. You?" I hadn't really thought my question through, of course she was gonna ask if i wanted that too. But now do I answer honestly or not? _

_"Definitaly the city." I tried to avoid the whole family part of the question. "And the family?" She obviously caused that I evaded the family part. Damn it. "Ah, I don't know." I looked at her, she wasn't looking at me like she was being nosy, she looked at me like she actually cared and wanted to know more about me. I felt like I could trust her. _

_"Whenever I think about having a family I just think about my childhood and then I know that I can't have one. I didn't have very good parental role models. I wouldn't know how to be a good parent." I said honestly. No one on earth knew that. Not even Sebastian."You had a rough childhood?" She had a look of understanding in her eyes, like she finally realised something. But there was no pity in sight. I nodded in reply. "Me too." She smiled sadly. This was news to me. She was so lively and happy with eyes full of life, if she had a bad childhood surely that would have taken that all away? It took that away from me. _

_"But your theory on having bad parents means you'll be a bad parent is total bullshit." She was looking out at the view again. I stared at her for a moment, shocked. "What makes you say that?" She didn't turn to look at me when she replied, "Having bad parents won't make you a bad parent just like having good parents won't necessarily make you a good one. You said that you didn't have good parental role models well then you can use that. You had lessons on what not to do." She wasn't trying to bullhit me or make me feel better, she was just telling me what she thought. I liked that. _

_We sat in silence for about half an hour before Clary suggeted that we went to get something to eat. "Ah, Jace, isn't there supposed to be a slide attached to this thing?" I looked around the edges of the platform and sure enough there was no slide, I chuckled. "How did we not notice there was no slide?" I chuckled again. "It's not funny, Jace. How are we supposed to get down? The balancing beams are easy to walk up but impossible to walk down." I gave her a heavanly smile. "The answer to that is a simple one," I walked up to the edge of the platform and jumped off. _

_My feet stung a little when they hit the ground but it wasn't that bad. "Your turn." I called up to her. "Are you mad? Look how high it is." she called back. "I made it to the ground safe and sound." Isoun around to show her that I was uninjured. She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes, "Yes but you are almost six feet tall whereas I am barely over five. I can't fly, Jace. I'll probably end up falling and dying." Did she really think I'd let anything happen to her? "Come on, I'll catch you." She ducked under the railing and looked down at the ground again. "Promise?" I smiled at her, "Yes, I promise. Trust me, Clary." I wanted her to trust me like I had trusted her earlier. "Okay, one, two," she paused, "Oh my god, three" She stepped over the edge. _

_Her eyes were shut tight but I held her by the the waist. I carefully placed her on to the ground, "Open Your eyes, Clare." She peeked one eye open then let out the breath she had been holding. "Thanks." She smiled. "See, Clare, you flew like a Rocket." _

I Smiled to myself at the memory. That was the day I realised that I was more than just attracted to her. That was the day I realised that I had Feelings for Clarissa Fray

...

I walked into the apartment at around 20:45, Clary was kissing Sebastian when I entered. "Bye, Babe." Sebastian said just before turning towrds the door. "Where are you going?" I asked. "My class is doing our first shift in a hospital tonight. It's a night shift." I nodded, "So that's why you guys slept all bloody day?" I pretended like I didn't know the real reason they had slept all day. "Yep, see you guys tomorrow." Sebastian patted my shoulder and walked out the door.

"Your dinner is in the microwave." Clary smiled and sat on the couch. I opened the microwave and found a plate of mac and cheese. I heated it up and joined Clary on the couch. "What are we watching?" I asked before shovelling macaronni into my mouth. My god she could cook. "Nothing at the moment." She continued to flick through the channels.

We still hadn't found anything to watch by the time I had finished my food. "How about a video game? You still owe me a _Need For Speed _rematch." In all honesty I didn't care about the rematch, I just liked to watch the way her nose scrunched up when she focuses on a video game and the way she would lean left and right slightly whenever she made a turn. "Are you sure you're in for another ass kicking?" She said confidetly. "In your dreams, Rocket."

Ten miutes later the PS3 was set up and we were drag racing. It had been a steady race but I had been in the lead for the last minute. I was starting to get a bit confident. "I've got this one in the- What? No!" She over took me. And she was gaining a steady lead. "No, no, no." She started to chuckle. I refused to let her beat me again. I started to bump her with my shoulder. "Hey, stop it! That's not fair!" She laughed. I was basically on top of her by the time I gained the lead back. Clary tried to wiggle out from underneath me but instead of freeing herself, she ended up pulling us off the couch. I still won.

I was lying on top of her and she was giggling wildly, "You asshole, that was cheating." She punched my shoulder. "No, Rocket, that was creative winning. Something I'm rather good at." Clary raised her eyebrow at me, "Oh really? You're good at cheating?" She tried to push me off of her but I was too heavy. "No," I leaned down so that my mouth was next to her ear and whispered slowly, "I'm good at winning." I raised my head, and was surprised to see her blushing. I smirked and shot her a wink. This made her blush deepen. I climbed off of her and helped her up. "Night, Clare-Bear." I blew her a kiss and wiggled my fingers as I walked backwards towards my room, without breaking eye contact.

I leaned back against my door and let out a breath. Holy crap. My entire body was pressed against hers. I got to watch her giggling away as she lay underneath me. That's something I had dreamed about so many times. (Well I always imagined it happening in my bed, with no clothes involved, but I'd take what I could get.) And I had made her blush. Which, I admit had happened before, but it was usually after I made some inappropriate joke or embarrassed her in some way. And she always had a comback, despite the embarrassed blush. But this time it was from me being so close to her. And she had no comeback. Did that little moment turn her on like it did me? I smiled an elated smile at the thought.

I flopped down face first into my bed. I was no longer tired. How was I supposed to sleep when my skin felt like it was on fire?

...

02:08am

I had been falling in and out of sleep for the past three hours. I had never really been good at the whole sleeping thing. Over the Years I had become accustommed to functioning on four hours of sleep a night, but this was bad. Up until that point I had only gotton about an hours sleep.

I sighed and climbed out of bed to get some water. I walked quietly because I didn't want to wake Clary. Sebastian's door was slightly ajar when I creeped past. I was just about to pass his door when I heard a slight whimper followed by a distinct, "No."

A surge of fear ran up my spine because it sounded like Clary was distressed. I pushed the door open and found Clary tangled in the blaket. There was a light sweat soaking her skin and her hair was a frenzied mess. A deep frown cut through her face as she wriggled and thrashed. She was obviously having a bad dream. I shook her arm lightly in an attempt to wake her. She remained asleep.

"Clary. Clary, wake up." I shook her more vigurously this time. She bolted up right in a panting mess. Her eye were wide and wild. "Jace?" She aked. She looked so young and scared. It made me want to hold her and protect her from any and all harm.

"Hey, it's okay. It was a just a bad dream." I wrapped her in my arms, "I've got you. You're okay." I kissed the top of her head and tried to calm her down. After a few moments of silence I asked her if she wanted to talk about the dream. She shook her head in reply. "Are you okay now?" I asked. Her eyes looked so tired and numb. She gave a quiet, "Yes." I got up to leave but before I reached the door I heard a faint, "Jace." Clary was staring down at her hands. "Wou - would you stay with me?" She sounded so fragile and even though I knew it wasn't a good idea to say yes, it seemed like saying no might have broken her. The dream must have been quite horrific if it left my brave Clary, as a scared child.

I climbed under the blanket with her. It was uncomfortable at first because I was rigid where I lay. Once Clary was settled, she turned and snuggled up against my chest. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. I wanted her to feel safe. She tucked her head under my chin, her breathing was low and her warm breath fanned across my neck. In minutes we had both fallen into a deep and comfortable sleep.

...

CPOV

I woke to the strange feeling that someone was watching me. I lifted my head to see a sleeping Jace next to me. Memories of him holding me as I shook the bad dream away, and how safe I felt falling asleep in his embrace. The feeling of someone watching me hadn't left and i cranned my neck back and saw a dark figure standing in the door way.

Sebastian stood and starred at Jace and I. It was then that I noticed how inappropriate Jace and I looked. Jace's arms were around my waist and our legs intertwined. Fury burned in Sebastian's black eyes as he turned and left the room.

...

**That's it for this chapter. What did you guys think? Did you like it? Didn't you? let me know.**

**Please review guys, I really would love to get this story up to 100 reviews. **

**Tell me what you thought of Jealous Jace.**

**Tell me what you though of the flashback.**

**Do you want more chapters in JPOV or do you prefer Clary's?**

**What did you think of the songs?**

**Tell me what you liked and tell me what you didn't.**

**What was your favourite line from the chapter?**

**The next chapter is where the plot really starts to take off so stay tuned :D**

**Don't forget to use lighter fluid when you **_**Burn The Evidence**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey :)**

**I'm sorry about the late update but I have a huge history project to do (I literally have to do twenty six essays) and it has taken up almost all of my time. I have also officially moved into my new place, which is exciting and scary at the same time.**

**I went back to read the last chapter and I noticed a number of mistakes. Don't know what happened because I did proof read it before updating but I did post it at 3am, I'm writing this on my phone and I don't have a beta so I could have overlooked them, I do apologise. I would like to go back and fix it but I don't know how so if anyone would be kind enough to send me a PM telling how the frick-a-frack I could do that it would be greatly appreciated.**

**Song recommendation: "Kryptonite" – Three Doors Down. Once again, I will let you know when to start it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even a pack of gum. **

I scrambled out of Jace's grip and dashed to follow Sebastian. I felt a panic rising. He probably got the wrong idea as to what happened between Jace and me. I had to admit that it did look pretty bad.

"Sebastian." I called after him. He didn't respond, he just continued walking to the kitchen. "Sebastian." I said louder. He stopped but didn't turn or respond. "Sebastian, it isn't what it looks like." It probably wasn't the best thing to say at that moment. That's what everyone says when they've just been caught cheating. Not that I was cheating. He turned his head and looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"And what exactly did it look like, hm?" He had turned to face me now. "Ah, me and Jace lying in bed together?" I said. "Oh no, that's what it may have looked like to you, but do you want to know what it looked like to me?" He had taken a step towards me.

To any other person he would have looked completely calm but I knew that this is when you should be most afraid of him. The calm, toneless voice and stiff gaze was a sign of the extreme rage hiding under the surface. I was smart enough to be scared.

"It looked like I went to work," he paused, "so my _best friend _and my _girlfriend _decided to take advantage of my absence and have a little _fun in my bed." _He was now standing right in front of me. He smelled like his cologne and that gross, over clean, hospital smell.

His calm demeanour was slipping, his chest was heaving and the veins in his neck were visible. Was it wrong of me to be slightly happy that he was so upset at the thought of me sleeping with someone else?

"That's not what happened, please just let me explain. Listen okay, Jace," I paused. "Jace was just trying to help me." Sebastian scoffed. "Jace was trying to help, huh? Help you reach a fucking orgasm? What? Were you not getting enough from me so you decided to whore yourself out to my best friend."

I lost it. "Are you _fucking_ kidding me? How dare you? How _fucking _dare you? Do you really think that I would cheat on you? Do you really think that little of me? Are you that pathetically insecure? I take it you don't trust me then. Well you know what, Sebastian, fuck you."

That's when pain hit. That's when he hit. He slapped me through the face. I looked at him, his eyes black with malice. My cheek stung but it didn't hurt nearly as much as the fact that he was the one that had done it. He'd never hit me before.

Anger, hurt, pain, fear and deep sadness consumed me like a girl drowning in the ocean. It was everywhere, around me, inside me, seeping out of my skin. I felt a tear burn its way down my cheek but made no move to wipe it away. Instead I just stared at him.

The anger faded from his eyes and regret replaced it. "Clary I-" He moved to touch the cheek he slapped but I hit his hand away before he could. I turned and, with one last glance back, I left the apartment.

…

JPOV

**(Start song)**

_Her hands trailed down my torso, her nails dug into my skin slightly. I moaned as her hot breath crawled across the side of my neck, her lips barely skimming the surface of my erratic pulse. I felt a burning heat on every inch of my body that she deemed good enough to touch._

_She lay above me, straddling my waist. Her body was moving against mine, her body caressed me. Every inch of her was electrifying. I finally had her. She was mine. Words couldn't encompass how good it felt to have her wrapped around me, to have her breathe my name. _

_My fingers dug into her back as I arched up, trying to get more of her, touch more of her, experience more of her. My chest hurt with need and want, my head rolled to the side as she bit her lip and let out a siren's song of a moan. _

"_Oh god, Jace." Her chest shook as she breathed in her low moan. She kissed her way up my neck, every time her lips touched my skin my breath would hitch and my body would shiver. She finally reached _that _spot behind my ear and sucked hard enough to leave a mark, a mark that I would wear with pride, "Clary." I groaned deeply. My breathing sped up; I let out a breathy sigh, "My Clary."_

I fought the urge to wake up. I didn't want to wake up, that had been the best dream I'd had in weeks. I wanted to go back and finish it, I wanted to make her finish. I rolled over on to my stomach and moaned, the dream had obviously gotten me excited and I didn't have anyone to share the excitement with.

I opened my eyes slightly, I didn't want Clary waking up and seeing me like this. But I didn't see her, she must have gotten up will I was dreaming and I prayed that I wasn't moaning when she did.

I dragged myself out of the bed to go take a shower, very cold one. But what I saw when I opened the door was the last thing I had expected to see.

...

I saw red. Literally. I had opened the door to see Sebastian strike Clary through the face. I stood frozen as I watched her start to cry, watched him try to apologise and I stood frozen as she walked out the door.

Sebastian ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He turned to walk, I assume towards his bedroom, but he looked up and his eyes met mine. And that's when I finally lost my shit. I rushed towards him and grabbed the collar of his shirt. I threw him back against the door; his head hit it with a crack.

Sebastian could fight, and he tried to defend himself, but I was bigger and taller than him. I also had the immense rage scorching inside me, on my side. My fist hit his face repeatedly; his mouth and nose were bleeding but I didn't care. I just kept seeing the tear roll down her cheek and that motivated me to hit him again and again, harder each time.

"How dare you hit lay a hand on her?" I screamed. I heard something in my fist crack and pain roared up my arm. I stepped back and clutched my shaking hand in the other.

"How dare I lay a hand on her? How dare you lay a hand on her? She's my girlfriend, Jace." Sebastian said weakly. He stumbled to a bar stool and sat down. He was holding his nose as he tried to get the bleeding to stop.

"What are you talking about?" I was confused, but that didn't mean I was any less angry. "I saw you two cuddling it up in _my _bed. I'm not an idiot, I can guess what happened. I bet you couldn't wait for me to leave so that you could swoop in and fuck her. You could have at least had the decency to screw _my_ girlfriend in your own bed."

It was like he was rubbing the fact that she was his girlfriend, and not mine, in my face. Was he trying to get punched again? "Swooped in and fucked her? Sebastian, do you want to know what actually happened? She had a nightmare and was too scared to go back to sleep. She asked me if I would stay with her until she fell asleep again. She's one of my best friends; do you really think I was going to say no? Do you really think I was going to leave her alone all freaked out and upset? All I did was lie next to her and I obviously fell asleep too."

Sebastian's anger visibly subsided and the guilt set in. "I- I didn't know." His voice was low, he was obviously ashamed. He should be. "Well maybe, instead of slapping her, you could have asked her what was going on. Maybe then she wouldn't be upset, in pain, and god knows where in the city." I tried to make him feel bad. I wanted him to feel bad. He deserved to feel bad. "Now I'm going to go find her and make sure she's okay." I grabbed a shirt and jeans from my room, threw them on and, with a final glare directed at Sebastian, I left.

…

Cpov

I was a wreck. I sat on a bench in the park, my hands clutched a coffee and my leg was bouncing like a bunny on an energy drink. I got one or two strange looks from a few passer-by's. I hoped they thought my shaking was due to the cold, I was in my pyjamas after all.

I should leave him. I should dump him and move on. I know I should, I had always been the one to say that if a guy ever hit you then you should be out the door. But every time I thought of leaving him I just pictured all the good stuff that had happened between us, all the laughs and smiles and kisses.

And leaving him would mean that I wouldn't see Jace as often, I might not see him again. If Sebastian made him choose between us then Jace would obviously pick him. He was Jace's best friend after all. And I couldn't handle losing another best friend.

I sighed and decided to go home. I was tired despite my coffee and I just wanted some sleep. I walked back to my car and drove towards my apartment.

…

I was dragging my feet as I walked through the door. It was only 10:00am and I felt like I hadn't slept in two days. I kicked off my shoes and got a glass of water. It was then that I noticed a strange smell lingering around the place. It was a familiar smell but I couldn't quite place it. I tried to locate the source of the smell but I had no luck. I heard a loud bang and then everything went black.

…

Jpov

I couldn't find her. I had gone to her apartment first and got no answer. I went to her work but found nothing. I had tried calling her a couple times but she kept declining them. I should have taken that as a sign that she wanted to be alone but I couldn't bring myself to leave her while she was upset.

My phone rang and I prayed it was Clary calling. Unfortunately it was Sebastian. I contemplated ignoring it but for some reason the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and dread settled in my stomach. Something in the back of my mind was telling me to answer it. "What do you want, Sebastian?" My voice came out with an annoyed nervousness. "Jace, I just got a call, Clary's been rushed to the hospital."

…

**I hope you enjoyed it. I found it extremely difficult to write but I do hope you think it was okay. **

**Let me know what you think of this chapter :D**

**What would you do if you were Clary?**

**How do you think Jace will react to the news?**

**What do you think of the song? (I love it)**

**What was your favourite line from this chapter?**

**What do you think is gonna happen next?**

**What is your favourite band? (It's not relevant to the story, I know, but like to know stuff about you lovely people.) Mine is Billy Talent.**

**It is now 1am and I'm tired so I'm going to have a smoke then I'm off to bed. **

**Thanks for reading.**

**If your partner ever hurts you and you decide to kill him/her (not that you should, I doubt prison is anything like **_**Orange is the New Black**_**,) remember that you should always **_**Burn The Evidence.**_


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